Living with Conditional Personality Disorder!!! haha

I love Sunday mornings, yet loathe them at the same time! It is great to get up and go to church with your family, but why must there be such a sense of hostility when preparing to get there???

For example, let's look at how completely wrong this is:

9:00am: I wake up to my alram clock blaring in my ear. I drag my tired body down the hallway and make my first attempt to wake up Abby. I then proceed to the bathroom, and stumble into the shower. I then throw in some Shampoo and Conditioner about as quick as I can. I jump out, throw on my robe, and slop my hair up in a towel (that was used the night before on two children before bed time).
9:15am: I turn on the coffee pot in hopes that the caffeine will rapidly find its way through my blood stream causing rapid rejuvenation...this never happens!
9:17am: A second attempt to wake up Abby---failure.
9:20am: I creep into my bedroom trying not to wake David (he works nights so he doesn't make it to church with us...maybe if I had his help my Sunday mornings wouldn't be so hard). I grab whatever is clean and hanging up in my closet, only to realize I have to go back in and grab something that actually fits......reminding myself I need to lose weight!
9:30am: I hear Laynie crying from her room. I open her door, smelling before seeing the disaster she has created for me to clean up. Why do my children like to get naked and explore the contents of their diapers?????
9:50am: After giving Elayna a bath, and cleaning up her stinky mess, I charge into Abby's room DEMANDING she get her "little sleepy butt out of bed".
9:55am: Abby finally gets up. I comb her hair and lay out her clothes on her bed.
10:00am: I dress Elayna again, as she has taken her clothes off in the play crib.
10:03am: I return to Abby's room to find her not dressed and watching T.V. After yelling at her for the second time, I furiously push her little body into her dress. I slide her sandals on her feet, then head to the bathroom to do my make up.
10:10am: I start gathering up my bible, purse, and diaper bag.
10:12am: I brush Abby's hair again and fight with her to get a clip in her hair.
10:15am: I go to pick Elayna up from the play crib, and I realize she has disrobed again!!! I tell her "that is a bad little baby" as she grins from ear to ear while clapping her little hands!!!
10:20am: I start loading up the girls in the car. Spanking Abby for taking out her hair clip. I throw the girls in their carseats and head to church---telling the girls how this is the "last time" we will head to church in this manner.
10:30am: Church has officially began!!
10:32am: We arrive at church! I drag the girls from their carseats as quickly as possible without giving them whiplash in the process. I take Laynie to the nursery, and Abby to Children's Church.
10:35am: I'm smiling from ear to ear, singing church hymms, and greeting the members of the church telling how "I am just fabulous, and so happy to be there!". ----How sick and twisted is that!?!?!? Is this called Multilple Personalities or what!? haha

Isn't it funny how you can be such a crab at home and on the way to church, but as soon as you hit the doors your life is "fabulous and you are just so happy to be there"?????

I hope I'm not the only one with "Conditional Personalities"---this is my own term I am using to describe how based on the condition of where I am my personality is totally different!! haha